(NSFW) What is the most inappropriate sexual advance that has ever been made to you?
It needn’t be physical, it could be an inappropriate message but how did you feel about it, were you secretly pleased, and how did you respond?
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96 Answers
Cliche “creepy uncle” making remarks about how I was blossoming and putting his arm around me a lot when I was 11. I don’t think I really understood that beyond a general uneasiness but my parents were very aware and changed the plans to stay at that house for the duration of the visit. We got a motel.
As sad as it is to say, no one has made an inappropriate sexual advance on me. Or at all, now that I think about it.
“Inappropriate sexual advance” is no longer part of my lexicon. Bring it!
There was one time when I was a lot younger… I was at a crowded bar in Florida, standing about three-deep at the bar and waiting to place a drinks order for our table. At about the time I got the bartender’s attention and started giving my order, someone very deliberately ran a hand over my ass and groped in a pleasing way. There was no mistaking the intent, but I had no idea who was doing it. I finished the order (pretty quickly, you can imagine!), but about three seconds after the hand left that area… and turned around with a smile to see nothing but other young men.
Imagine my disappointment. And embarrassment. Fortunately none of us knew each other – and none of them were paying particular attention to me – and I didn’t hang around that crowd much longer. I had had such high hopes, too.
Off the top of my head, I recall receiving a text form a girl in one of my classes that said “I like your beard. Cum fuck me.” I had always been very attracted to this girl, but it still wierded me out a lot, and I had a girlfriend at the time, so I sent her a message saying “Uh, no, I have a girlfriend.” Her response was “I don’t care. I want you in me.” My response was “Lol, no.” This went back and forth for a week until I shaved my beard. Then she stopped flirting with me. 0_o As hot as this girl is, it made me feel very… objectified, I think?
I was hitchhiking and a farmer picked me up; an old guy in a beat-up pickup wearing muddy boots and dirty clothes. After a few minutes, I become aware of a furious stroking motion at the corner of my vision. Not wanting to see the details, I keep my eyes locked on the road ahead. I blurt out, “Do you always do that when you drive?!”
“Ummmmm, no, just this time”
“Yeah, I think this is my exit, let me out.”
“OK”
He stops the truck, I get out. Thankfully, that’s the end of the story.
A drunk chick grinded on me during a GWAR concert. I remember being more freaked out than turned on because I didn’t know what the hell just happened until after the concert.
Similar to @jaytkay , I was hitchhiking when mine happened. I was a dirty hippy in 1994, trying to get from Atlanta to Tulsa. A truck driver picked me up and we were making small talk. He asked me what I was up to and I (very naively in retrospect) mentioned I was trying to earn money somehow. All I meant was I’d been working odd jobs for a few days, saving up a little money to get by. Anyways, he then says “You know the way a lot of guys like you make money?” “No,” I said, eager to get some good advice. “You can sell your dick.” “Oh,” I said, and fell silent, disappointed he hadn’t offered anything useful. After a few moments of silence, he said, “Well, what do you think?” “About what?” I asked (you’ve got to know I was so ignorant back then). “I’ll give you $50 if you suck my dick.”
At that point I freaked out to near hysterics, ready to get seriously violent if he was going to push the issue. He pulled the truck over shortly after and we went our separate ways.
Dear Penthouse Fluther,
I never believed this would happen to me, but this one time at band camp…
Sweet jesus… what is it with people who drive trucks and their dicks?
I had a 20-something manager at McDonald’s when I was 16 who was physically unattractive (lank hair, pizza face, etc.), socially inept, yelled at people a lot, said nasty things about women in general and women’s body parts in particular, but was convinced that he deserved to get laid by anyone he demanded it from. I don’t know how he got to be manager. He was not a people person.
One night when I was getting fries out of the walk-in freezer, I turned to go back up front, and he was suddenly behind me. He grabbed my hand at his crotch-level. I twisted it out of his grip, ran from the back and – boy! – was he angry. He followed me, called me a lot of names and only when he realized that crew and customers were staring at him did he stop. He blamed me for his embarrassment ever after until I quit and tried to give me the worst shifts and “write me up”. Fortunately, the other manager knew better, so I was in the clear. What a shame that I didn’t know to approach my friends at school to ask their parents where I might get a different (better-paying and better status) job.
I still have problems understanding people like that guy.
A woman I was friendly with, but not into at all, pushed me up against a wall and planted a wet one on me – tongue and all. Did not enjoy it.
I live in the land of sleazy Hollywood executives and horny casting directors who want everyone to suck their dick for an audition, but the most inappropriate sexual advances came from two of my mother’s best friend’s husbands and I was pretty young at the time. Young enough to call them pedophiles and for them to think I wouldn’t fully understand what they were saying and doing to me.
@cockswain You know what, yeah they both did. Gah.
@Vunessuh I bet truck driver dick is among the worst of all possible dicks. I’d rather lick the door handle of a porn shop than touch one of those. They must stink something fierce.
@Sweet jesus… what is it with people who drive trucks and their dicks?
I choose to believe I was simply an irresistible Adonis among the young hitchikers
I really can’t top that. Congrats.
@aprilsimnel‘s response reminded me of my experiences with my former boss from an office supply store I worked at. I was 17 at the time and he would only hire youngish guys who looked similar… shaggy hair, thin, and such, like me at the time. He was shorter than me, red-faced, perpetually angry, and he had apparently been discharged from the Navy under mysterious and unexplained circumstances. He would threaten to fire me every day, scream at me, get in my face, and call me a “fucking faggot,” among other things. After I transferred to a different store, he wound up stealing a lot of merchandise and a mutual friend revealed to me that this guy actually really liked men but he didn’t want to admit it, and he had a thing for me and other guys he had hired, but he was so self-loathing that he would call us derogatory anti-gay slurs and such… weird shit.
My international affairs teacher made a huge advance on me once. I had went to his office to debate something he was teaching in class. He closed his door and asked me “Since you’re a female, and you’re extremely intelligent, I see no need to accept any more of your work. If you suck my dick, I’ll give you a perfect mark for the semester.” I just politely walked out and NEVER went to that class again.
Wait, wait, wait y’all!
My dad is a truck driver and a very considerate and kind person. Most of his friends are also and I have had great road experiences (one in a blizzard where I tucked in behind a semi in my car to avoid road spray and improve my visual field… I pulled off to use a rest stop and this truck came back to make sure I was alright when he noticed me missing from his rearview mirror. A total stranger, mind you)
@KatetheGreat – WHOA! You told someone in administration, I hope!
@aprilsimnel Yeah, he was fired. It turned out that he’s done that to over 100 girls…...and most of them accepted the offer.
@KatetheGreat that’s abuse of power. Bastard. Do you think there are female professors who get away with that? There may be, but we girls don’t generally care so much about getting our cocks sucked.
@Blueroses I actually had a female professor that was luring guys into her office. She had just got divorced and I’m pretty sure she was a nympho, therefore she was kinda desperate. She didn’t get in as much trouble because she wasn’t necessarily giving them high grades for it.
Reading the responses that have YarnLady’s avatar is causing me to mentally stumble.
No one has ever made any advances toward me. No one that lived, that is.
I would be quite worried if anyone did.
@cockswain Of course you would! Hahaha. She wasn’t that attractive. She was overweight, she suffered from alopecia, and she dressed like a homeless hippie.
Jesus Christ. That just messed up the image in my mind severely.
An old granny at a night club I worked in wanted to, quote “feel your balls slapping against my asshole”.
Not really inapropriate, just unconventional I guess.
When I was 16 I got pulled over by a police officer who said I’d fit just right on the back of his motorcycle. He gave me his card and told me to call him. No ticket, not even a warning.
That’ll be the time when my dawg began humping my leg. I mean, fuck foreplay…oh no. He was straight in there, like I was his bitch or something. Highly innapropriate, as I was masturbating to Saddam Hussein’s execution at the time. Damn pooch has a lousy sense of timing.
Sweet holy moly, lets face it, when ever you get an advance from someone you didn’t like or do not want it is inappropriate; however, it is worse if it is very creepy. One of the most remembered creepy ones was the 1st. I was in my early teens walking to the store (about a mile away because it was a new apt in a undeveloped area.) This young blonde man in a truck (yeah the truck again but it was blue) ask me where I was going and he said he’d give me a lift. I was thinking how lucky I would not have to walk and save 30min off the trip. He asked me wanted some action. I was thinking he was speaking about dope of homes easy to rob. I said so I just want to get to the store thinking he would drop it. He said to me “A young dude like you really don’t want any action?” I said “What type of action?” He replied, “Blow job”. Then I am thinking he was a pimp and had some lady (an ugly one) he was trying to pawn. Half curious I said “Where at?” He said then, “We can go to that park over there and I can give you a blow job”. At what point any curiosity left and I was thinking about how to make an exit with out pissing the guy off. I told him I had to get the pop from the store. We went to the store and he said he would wait for me. I went into the store mind working a mile a minute. I didn’t want to say anything to the clerk because even if he did believe me it I was embarrassed the 1st person that wanted to nibble my dumbstick was some dude not a hot chick. Plus if the clerk ran him off and made him made I still had to walk home and was afraid he would hunt me down. From where he was parked I could slip out the door with out him seeing me. I tucked the soda under my arm and ran like the devil was after me 200yds to the fueling station at the end of the block. I ducked in the lobby and a classmate who worked their thought I had ripped off the store but I told him what happened and he let me hide out there until the coast was clear. Then I walked home looking over my shoulder the whole time.
Being raped was about the most inappropriate I’d say. I’ll leave it at that. :/
A guy got a hard-on while watching me work out at the gym a couple years ago. And then he tried to holler at me. Pretty gross.
I have to give this a GQ because sexual anthropology is really interesting. Many of these stories, change one detail (the gender of the approacher, in most cases) and it changes from traumatizing event to spank bank fodder. There’s a fine line there between discomfort and porn fantasy. I find that endlessly fascinating.
No flames. I certainly don’t mean any disrespect to people who were assaulted. There’s no excuse for that sort of exercise of power. I only mean the feelings, not any actions.
Whenever I go abroad to countries like France/India/UAE etc. I feel some guys watching me in a very dirty way. When I was 13, I was on holiday with my family. We had got a beach house in Goa and I was taking a late evening stroll alone. I have no idea where he came from but a young guy jumped me and kissed me soo deeply it was gross.
He used tongue and all and then dissapeared! I was left winded and confused and just stood there for a minute or two, unsure of what had just happened. It was my first kiss but I don’t count it as one. It was a horrible experience and it still gives me shivers to this day.
I haven’t told a soul except here on Fluther. My parents still don’t know and neither do my friends. I don’t like remembereing it at all. : /
@queenie I had a similar thing in Mexico at a resort. Went to the front desk late at night, quite tipsy, looking for extra towels. When the desk attendant left, the doorman approached and started groping me. I was stunned and confused and then when the attendant came back, the other guy just strolled away like nothing had happened.
Quite a few patients, while they’e having a colonoscopy. I assume it’s a side effect of the sedatiion, that stuff can do some funny things.
@Hypocrisy_Central I disagree. I’ve been hit on by several women in whom I was uninterested, but I’ve rarely found their advances inappropriate. If no one is arranging our liaisons for us, someone is going to have to take a risk somewhere along the line. It’s not the propositioning itself that is the problem, then, but the manner in which it is done. The key is respect.
I was babysitting in my early 20’s one sumer to help pay for university. The parents paid very well. The Mom was a nurse and worked days and the Dad was a shift worker. I was really young looking, too. Most people thought that looked 16. Anyhow, one morning I showed up, and the Mom had already left for work. The Dad just got home from work, and was going to sleep while I watched the kids (same house). Before he decided to go to bed, he sat down on the loveseat and we started chatting. He asked me about my weekend. I told him that I went out to a bar with friends (Canada). He then asked me what I wore to the bar. Creepy. I felt really uncomfortable and got up to look at a calendar on the wall to check out next week’s schedule. Whilst standing there, I felt the Dad come right behind me. He started playing with my hair. The kids were sleeping, and I told him that I thought that I heard the two year old crying. I quickly got away from him. Roughly ten minutes later, the Dad was in his bedroom. He called for me to come to the door. I went to the door and he was lying in his bed with his tighty-whities on and no blanket covering him up. He then patted the bed and asked me to “come here”. I said to him “I gotta go”. And, with that, I got the fuck out of there. Asshole had to stay up (after working nights) and watch the kids.
I drove over to my Mom’s and told both her and my sister. They contacted the Mom that I was babysitting for and told her everything.
The Dad was in his mid 50’s.
@queenie I know what you mean by never wanting to go back to India again. I’ve been quite a few times, since I have distant relatives living there. I remember being 11 and being whistled at by boys that were twice my age… I didn’t appreciate it all. I haven’t been back to India in over 8 years and I don’t think I’ll be going back anytime soon.
But besides India, I’ve has quite a few inappropriate advances on public transit.
There are two incidents that stick out.
Once when I was on the subway and was sitting by the window. An older man came and sat beside me and I didn’t think much of it. I gave him space and he gave me mine… that is until about 5 minutes into the ride. He started opening his legs (so that they were rubbing against mine) and started playing footsie with me. I was trapped and felt very suffocated. I had no idea what to do except just sit there and look out the window. One of the worst subway rides of my life. Looking back on it, I feel like I should have said something… but I probably would have just burst out crying if I had even opened my mouth or looked at him.
The second incident was also on the subway and once again, I was by the window. A younger male came and sat beside me and took up a lot of space. I was squished, but I still didn’t say anything. All of the sudden, he turns to me and says: “Do you want to rub on my chest?” and he winks at me. I didn’t know what to say, so once again, I said absolutely nothing. Thankfully he got the idea and left at the next stop.
Another one that really made me mad was when I was going for a walk in my neighbourhood and a couple of young men started yelling “Damn those are some nice jugs”. I was so embarassed. I ran home.
I should really stand up for myself more…
A friend and I walked over to play on a set of monkey bars in someone’s back yard. We were about eight years old. An older boy showed up and suggested that we play ‘Family’. He was the dad, the friend was the Mom, and I was the baby. When he told me to pull down my pants because I needed a diaper change, the friend and I ran home laughing. At that time, it never dawned on us that we should have told our parents.
My parents took me on a business trip to a Florida resort when I was 17. There was a married sales rep. there, who was married, but his wife didn’t come along because she was pregnant. I’ll admit I had a bit of a crush on him and got a certain thrill when he put his hand on my knee under the dinner table. Later that evening, he asked me to meet up with him after my parents had gone to sleep. No thank-you, and that ended the crush. About five years later, he showed up at my workplace and asked for me. That creeped me out.
@KatetheGreat – My goodness. I’m glad you said something!
It’s upsetting to see that there’s so many people in the world for whom their need to have a power trip or to get off overcomes basic respect for others.
Outside of flat-out assault? Quite a few (I may be a magnet for inappropriate sexual advances, and an anti-magnet for appropriate ones). However, one does spring to mind: In an old apartment, I lived on the 3rd floor, and there was no elevator, so you had to take the stairs. Stairs that didn’t have any risers between steps, so should any woman dare to wear a dress one day, you could see up her skirt. Which, it turns out, a garbage man did to me one day. He then followed me upstairs, knocked on my door, and said “I know you aren’t wearing any underwear”. Not only was that not true, but I’ve always wondered just exactly what he thought my reaction would be – oops, you caught me, now come on inside and lemme suck you off?
A relative telling me (while laughing) that someday they might open up Playboy and see my naked butt sticking up in the air. I was about 13 or 14 and didn’t understand if they were inferring they thought I somehow might not be able to do anything else with life but sell my naked photos or they were just a few screws loose. In any case, I thought it was disgusting and whatever scorn I had for them previous to that comment, it multiplied instantly.
I was 12 or 13, my dad’s brother tried to get me to “dance” with him in his living room. His “premise” was that there would be dancing at my cousin’s wedding later that day and that I should have a lesson. I was already standing up, and when he grabbed my hand to pull me far too close, I was freaked out. I backed away and said that I didn’t plan to dance, then got the hell out of that room. I made it a point to never be alone with him ever again. I never said anything to my parents because I’m sure that they wouldn’t have believed me. It was even more upsetting because up until then he had been my favorite uncle.
Eh. There are a handful, but the ones that always linger with me are how many men have offered to pay me for sex. Particularly while I was working in a smoke shop off of the highway. I have no idea how cashier = sex worker, but apparently it is not uncommon for people (truck drivers, specifically), to offer to pay random women for sex.
I was around 12 or 13 and had a paper route and people used to always stop and ask me if I had an extra paper, well one time a guy actually asked if I would suck his dick for $5.00. I never got rode my bike so fast to my next customers house who let me stay there for a while. I never told my parents because I knew if my father found out he would make me get rid of my route and I loved it so I never told them. Now having kids I would freak out if something like that ever happened ot one of them.
It was my first day in New York City. I was staying at the midtown Y. I had put my stuff in my room and was wandering around the building. I went into the TV room and came back out into the hallway. A black guy—maybe in his thirties—approached my 22 year old self, and kind of mumbled quietly, “Do you want me to suck your cock?”
I wasn’t quite sure if I heard what I thought I heard, but he repeated himself, and I understood him clearly.
“No thanks,” I said, and I walked away. I remember being proud of how cool I was about it, and also thinking that what they said about the Y was true. This was a couple of years before the Village People released their song, “YMCA.
@Lightlyseared Quite a few patients, while they’e having a colonoscopy. I assume it’s a side effect of the sedatiion, that stuff can do some funny things.
Is this a colonoscopy or are you just happy to see me?
@Jude Ugh that’s so scary. Babysitting houses are such a nurturing place, where kids make a connection with you and you learn about caring for children. It disgusts me that that happened. I hope the Mom got rid of him before the kids hit puberty.
Well this guy with a three-foot penis wouldn’t leave me alone in my dream last night. But I’m trying to forget that.
In real life: I got an IM junior year of college from this guy who had lived on my floor freshman year. We hadn’t talked much, so I was surprised when he sought my screenname just to chat. He expressed concern and body image issues about his penis, and ended up manipulating me into agreeing to see a picture of it to validate it for him or something. He sent me penis pictures, and it looked fine. Then he proposed that I test it out. No thanks.
I forwarded the pics to my gay male roommate.
@sliceswiththings I had a gay man who was staying with me for a couple of weeks decide that it was absolutely imperative that not only he use my computer without asking, but that he download pictures of his penis onto it for unknown reasons. I responded by kicking him out.
A woman friend of mine once mentioned to me that she and her roommates (both younger woman) were not “harassed” but were “greeted” by photos of men’s sexual equipment on a regular basis and I don’t think that it was just a backhanded compliment when she told me that I was one of the few men to attempt to start a relationship with her who didn’t first send “dick pix”.
I suggested that she save a few of them instead of just deleting them as she had been wont to do, and the next time she got one unbidden and unwanted in her email, that she just send back two or three of the ones that she had in her collection. I don’t know if she tried it, but she laughed for a half-hour at the mere idea.
Ohh just remembered another. I was 18 and working at a pizza place. This middle-aged man had designed the menus so he got free food and was in a lot. We had chatted a bit, and I mentioned that I was working a lot of odd jobs to make money that summer.
He found me on myspace and started sending my messages. I had only made a myspace account to keep in touch with a certain couple of friends, and my account said very little that he could have used to find me. No pics or anything, which meant he must have searched for everyone with my first name in the entire area.
The message he sent acknowledged that I was trying to make money, and proposed that he pay me to model for him, and let him take pictures. He said my neon thigh-highs caught his attention (they weren’t neon and I wore a skirt down to my knees). He also suggested that I not tell my boss about this proposal.
I gave my brother my password and let him write the response, then deleted my account. I most certainly did tell my boss about it, who left this guy a voicemail politely asking him to not speak inappropriately to his employees. He never showed his face in the restaurant again.
My boss thanked me because the guy was also taking advantage of his free food deal. Driving him away saved the restaurant lots of money!
Man. It’s amazing how many people in the world are creepy. Reading these stories makes me feel lucky because I really haven’t had anything even close to what most of you guys describe. The worst I’ve gotten is that I’ve had drunk girls grind on me at parties and stuff like that when I didn’t specifically agree to it, but I didn’t exactly dislike it either…
I’ve gotten some weird sexual advances from people online, though…
Oh my gosh, this is so opportune. Last night my friends and I went out to a few bars downtown. When we were walking across the street to get to the door of one of them some guy stopped me, touched my arm and went “Can I lick your ass?” and then he kept walking. My face had a complete what-the-fucking-fuck expression and I continued on my way. But seriously, WTFF!?!?
One of my most inappropriate was after going out with a group of friends one night with coworkers, several of us ended up at a friends house to crash as opposed to drive.
I crashed on the couch and a few hours after falling asleep on the couch was awaken to find the departments senior admin had crawled up next to me and made her intentions very clear.
Uhm, the words “inappropriate” and “sexual advance” are mutually contradictory, IMO.
Does being molested by my brother when I was young count? I guess that one was the most inappropriate.
Clarification: my answer pertains only to adults who are able to speak up for themselves and walk away. Not minors.
@sliceswiththings When I confronted him about it, he tried to make it better by saying he had only download pictures of his own penis onto my computer, not some strangers. That’s how I know.
@HungryGuy I disagree, even with your clarification. “Suck my cock or I’ll fire you and blacklist you to all the other companies” was inappropriate even when it wasn’t illegal, and it’s definitely a sexual advance.
@SavoirFaire – Yes, but that’s tantamount to a threat of violence, and not a mere sexual advance.
@HungryGuy Perhaps, but I don’t see “mere” anywhere in the question.
I guess an inappropriate sexual advance w/o harassment was the time when I worked on a show as a coordinator and the episode’s Special (C-list) Guest Star hit on me in front of his wife during a set-up. All I can recall now are the words “bend over” and “cock”. I was surprised enough that unthinkingly I said, “Are you fucking kidding me?” He stomped off. I could’ve gotten in trouble, I’m sure, but apparently he said nothing to any producer types.
Not only was he just sleazy anyway, but the pained look on his wife’s face when he made his crude come-on was just so… I wanted to pull her aside and encourage her to tell him off and leave him, but I didn’t. I just went back to the production office and stayed out of sight for the rest of the day.
@aprilsimnel Would we be surprised if we found out who it was?
Eh. People over 30 wouldn’t be. The under-30s would be all, “Who?”
Nah. I wish. I’d take any of those fellows, except for William Hartnell and Colin Baker. They aren’t sleazy, either. Tom Baker’s a perv, true, but he’s not sleazy.
Having lunch for a first date when the person said “I would really like to lick your pussy”. Ruined the lunch and the chance of any future meetings in any capacity.
@Bellatrix Eww! I would bet that line has a first date success rate of ZERO. What is wrong with people?
That would be a correct assumption. I was stunned and speechless. A forkful of food stayed frozen between my plate and my mouth for quite a while. It certainly was not successful.
I have had a few inappropriate sexual advances in the past but that this person thought saying such a thing on a first date amazed me. I wonder if it has ever worked for him? I can’t imagine this was the first time he used this line? Or maybe it was.
@Blueroses I dunno, I think it might work quite a bit, especially since he’s not saying he wants to do something for you (and to a certain extent, you alone), that you can’t get pregnant or STDs from. But either way, it cuts right to the chase, which some people like. Kinda like the Naked Man Theory on How I Met Your Mother.
Whoa there, women don’t like that? Aw, man!
* note to self: save line for second date *
@MyNewtBoobs I disagree. It’s far too intimate for a first date. Less like the Naked Man theory and more akin to “I’d like to save your fingernail clippings in plastic baggies”.
Ick. I don’t care how good looking the boy is, unless he’s paying me for sex (and that’s a simple business arrangement, right @bob_)? I don’t want to hear a thing about what he wants to do to my body during the first meal together.
@Blueroses What do you mean you don’t take American Express? I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Lol@Bob_… I think you should at least wait until the meal is over and more intimate conversation has begun.
Or until the sleeping pills you mixed into her food started working.
The only thing I can recall was something that occurred the ONE time I went to a club. I was not dressed scantily, or anything, but I had had a lot to drink. My friends eventually convinced me to go dance with them and we vowed to stay together, which didn’t happen. We all got grabbed by random guys, and separated. I thought I’d just go with it but he started groping me, and touching my crotch, etc. He then asked me to go back to his car with him for sex and I fled. He tracked me down afterward outside, with the other guys who had been dancing with my friends. Apparently we were too drunk to just say “No, GTFO” so I pretended to be British, accent and all, because I believed it would deter him somehow. One of my other friends pretended to be an Italian who didn’t know how to speak English. My plan failed miserably because he turned out to ACTUALLY be British, but we did eventually get out of there in tact after I gave him a fake phone number,
LOL@tragiclikbowie….Ponders on being British deterring sexual advances…
@Bellatrix Being British, I didn’t even have a chance to deter him.
Didn’t work for me either @Queenie. I have never found being British a deterrent where guys are concerned.
I don’t remember the events that led to this, but I do remember being about four, I think, and telling my grandma that the way my nanny held me made me feel bad. I didn’t see her again after that. When I remembered this conversation a few years ago I felt both guilty that I got the nanny fired for perhaps nothing, since I have no memory of any incidents, and freaked out because incidents may have occurred that I repressed. I wonder if I’ll ever know.
I had a baby sitter who would let me suckle her breasts while we watched TV when I was about 5 years old. Around the same time the teenage girl from up the street, my big sister’s best friend, regularly copped a feel while we swam in our pool. One day after being made to run extra laps at PAL football practice, I was about 13, the coach caught me alone in the shower and wanted to jack me off. Back in the ‘70s in Key West there was a sudden influx of gay people after Truman Capote and Tennessee Williams arrived and a guy couldn’t walk down Duval Street at night without getting his ass and crotch pinched black and blue (KW is a lot more subdued now). I was extremely close to getting raped in a Venezuelan prison, but was saved by another prisoner—a big, mean son of a bitch—who’s arm I’d sewn up the day before after he was in a knife fight. I’ve had numerous patients make passes at me of varying degrees of aggressiveness, but a lot of medical people get that. I had a boss, a director of nursing, who after hiring me “based on my excellent qualifications,” made it perfectly clear at our first meeting alone in her office that if I didn’t fuck her on a regualr basis, I would have to go. I was married to a wonderful woman at the time. I left the job and didn’t tell my wife about the incident, did’t want her bothered as it was over in a flash. Then the woman stalked me for the next year and a half and I had to tell my wife. She understood completely, then had the woman jailed for stalking, tresspassing, destruction of property, theft, and a few other things.
I have a few that were horrifying and all when I was a kid. The weirdest and probably worst one was actually over the phone. I was 12 years old. This happened after I had recently been featured in the local paper, so it was surmised that it came from that.
A person called, that sounded like a woman to me, but I don’t know. I was the only one home. Anyway, they said they were a nurse and that my mom had asked them to call me and teach me how to masturbate. I won’t go into details, but I listened far too long because I was in shock. I told them I was doing the things they told me, but I wasn’t.
When my mom came home from work I was crying and begged to know why she would ask anyone to do that. Of course she hadn’t. They actually called one more time and I hung up right away.
This was 1980 so it was well before caller ID and such. It was very traumatizing.
I don’t know that it was inappropriate, but in my view it was idiotic on the part of the women. Briefly, I broke down and opened a Face Book account late last year. Being new to it all I made the mistake a few times of accepting “friend requests” from some women I don’t know. Figured it was harmless fluff, yeah great how are yo u blah blah. Quickly degenerated into endless texts on the Messenger thing, stuff like “Are you married”, “What do you want in a woman”, “Do you like babies, I have a toddler from accept in the first place a prior do you like babies,”, and so forth. So live and learn, I quickly found out, with advice from some of my freinds, that the best thing to do is just not accept to begin with. That said, I wasn’t really shocked or anything, just annoyed. I’m an old fart and married 40 years, I don’t like being hassled by women young enough to be my grand daughter. Males me feel like a perv and I didn’t do anything wrong or immoral. And women cry and complain when they do get hit on by prvs, so why open themselves up to some random Face Book clown?
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