Social Question

zenvelo's avatar

(NSFW) Has there ever been an instance of you regretting having sex?

Asked by zenvelo (39545points) April 7th, 2016

In response to a question about being able to change something from your past without disrupting how your life has gone, I answered that I would have had a lot more sex, since I have never regretted having sex, I only regret missed opportunities when I later learned a woman was interested in me.

I did get some feedback that a lot of women probably have instances of having sex they later regretted.

So, looking back on your life, any instances of regretting having sex?

I am speaking more to the act, not the consequences of unintended pregnancies or STDs. If those had not occurred, would yo still regret it?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

27 Answers

josie's avatar

Sex is like entertainment. Even when it is bad, it isn’t that bad. No regrets.
But on the other hand I have never had an STD, or been part of an unwanted pregnancy.
I guess I am not cynical about it.

kritiper's avatar

I had sex with the same skank: Twice, not on the same night. Thought I had to knock me off a piece and wondered what the hell got into my head to do it with her the first time; but twice? Bleah!! Talk about hating yourself the next morning! I still hate myself for those encounters! Double bleah!!

JLeslie's avatar

Yes. I can think of two instances. Nothing terribly traumatic, but I wish I hadn’t.

XOIIO's avatar

For women: yes
For men: no

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

Like @zenvelo, I have some regret about not having sex rather than having sex. A very beautiful woman and friend propositioned me, and I was interested but too nervous to say yes.

Mariah's avatar

Yes yes a million times yes. I could do a very large rant here but the long and short of it is that my ex pressured me into sleeping with him before I was ready (he was my first), tried to pressure me into anal even though knows I’ve had extensive rectal surgery (luckily I had a spine on this particular issue and it didn’t happen), and because I didn’t have the self-respect to listen to my own feelings I let it happen for a year before breaking up with him because I had begun to think I was asexual. I literally used to look forward to my period because he was grossed out by periods so I knew I would be able to get a week long break from sex once a month. Turns out I am not asexual, I just didn’t enjoy having sex with an asshole who cares more about getting his own rocks off than he does about the feelings and needs of somebody he supposedly loves.

rojo's avatar

I honestly cannot think of a time I regretted having sex. I can think of a couple of ladies I regretted having sex with but not the sex.

cazzie's avatar

Probably the last time I had sex with my ex-husband. It was our 10th year anniversary. We didn’t like each other very much, but somehow felt obliged that night and I just ended up feeling horrible about it. He pretty much just treated me like a meat sack.

filmfann's avatar

Several times. All were one night stands.

ragingloli's avatar

I never liked my priest.

XOIIO's avatar

@ragingloli Begone! Back to the grave with you!

….===
....===
=======
=======
....===
....===
....===
....===

The power of christ compels you demon!

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

I have regretted some missed opportunities.

CWOTUS's avatar

There was this one time in band camp…

ibstubro's avatar

At the time I might have regretted the sexual encounter, as it transpired. But since it wasn’t bad enough to imprint on my memory, ”No”, I don’t regret having had sex.

Perhaps with myself? There are places that the scabs of chafing should not be, and they certainly spoil the fun for a while.

ucme's avatar

That time in my late teens when I fucked my girlfriend’s sister, shoulda humped her mum instead, or maybe as well…together. “It’s a family affair, it’s a fami…”

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, @zenvelo, I win!

Yes. There were times in my experimental years that regretted actually following through. The men / boys were happy, I’m sure, but I was left unfulfilled for reasons I didn’t understand (at that point I didn’t even know women had organisms) and I felt unhappy and cheap.

After marriage my husband seemed to think that meant he hit the lottery, and sex when he wanted it was his due. It was weird because we had sex bunches before we were married, but the expectation changed somehow after we got married…as though I really had no say in it any more.
His turn on line was, “Ya wanna fool around?” At first I laughed, but when it became an every night, right-after-the news-line at 10:31 p.m. I finally got to the point I said, “No,” most of the time. Which pissed him off.

There were a few times in my first marriage that he really slaughtered the lines of love and concern in his almighty pursuit of his orgasm. One was during the first few days after I had our first baby. And that’s all I have to say about that.

It got old in my second marriage too. As I said in another thread (which promoted this question by @zenvelo, and I had nothing to do with it. Really, I didn’t!) most of the time it really is “Will you just get on with it already?”

rojo's avatar

@Dutchess_III

I have heard that one of the best things about being married is that you can have sex however and whenever you want it….....

…...if you have the vagina.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, if you don’t have an orgasm, what’s the point? In order to achieve that you have to have a husband who is willing to take the time to get you there. Most of the time it’s over long before that point.

Besides, being married has nothing to do with how often you “get” to have sex. As a woman, you can get it any where, anytime with virtually no effort.

Dutchess_III's avatar

^^^^ Doesn’t mean you’ll get a single thing out of having the sex, but you can have it whenever you want.

stanleybmanly's avatar

Yes, but the regrets were rarely about the act itself, more about the consequences. Sex when I was young and single amounted to me being drug around by my equipment. It was a time in which attraction and opportunity trumped everything else, including common sense. It was also a time when such opportunities were just too abundant, and the resulting emotional distress and turmoil from fiddling with women seeking commitment was a crime I shall never live down.

Dutchess_III's avatar

^^^^ YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME!!!

That is the hardest thing to get through a love-smitten girl’s head….Boys will say anything, and desperately mean it….at that moment. But not for long. Unless he really does, which most 15, 16 year olds have no clue what love is beyond sexual attraction.

filmfann's avatar

I should add that I regret avoiding some mistakes I didn’t make.

trolltoll's avatar

yes, with a guy who wasn’t physically attractive to me, because I was insecure and thought my options were limited to guys I didn’t find attractive.

anniereborn's avatar

@Dutchess_III I feel bad for you. It sounds like you have never had a guy who truly cares for you as a person. I am fortunate that way. I have had great sex plenty of times without orgasms. For me, it’s not the main point. Maybe I am just wired differently.

As for the question….at this point in my life looking back….no. But there were some times that I felt that way back in my 30s of “post divorce freedom”

Dutchess_III's avatar

@anniereborn Well, that was a pretty big assumption to make. And it was wrong.

Mama_Cakes's avatar

I can’t say that I have.

Blackberry's avatar

I didn’t regret the person, just the sex. I didn’t even really feel like it, but i was trying to get my mind off my problems and trying to distract myself.

Sometimes you have to accept your feelings and let them pass instead of trying to fill the hole with drugs alcohol and passionless sex.

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther