Social Question

jca's avatar

How comfortable are you discussing your personal life (work, relationships, family) on social networking sites?

Asked by jca (36062points) May 16th, 2017

How comfortable are you discussing your personal life, work stuff, family issues, health of yourself and your family, mental health of yourself and your family, financial issues, etc. on social sites such as Facebook, Fluther and other places?

I realize that according to Fluther staff, it’s not considered a social networking site, but it is social in nature so I am including it here.

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22 Answers

Mimishu1995's avatar

The only sites where I’m comfortable discussing personal life are Fluther and Facebook, but it’s because I’ve been a jelly for a long time and made a lot of friends on Fluther, my Facebook is only visible to friends, who know me too well in real life. Most information on my Facebook is in my PMs though. I don’t feel like posting everything about my life on Facebook under statuses.

avoice's avatar

My owner used to be very open about private life and personal matters. Later, it’s been decided it’s for the better to keep it private and discuss it exclusively with familar, trusted people.

Mariah's avatar

I’m very comfortable on Fluther, as it feels separate from my real life and identity.

That said, I’m reasonably comfortable with many topics with my real life friends too. I share on Facebook when I’m going through health issues. I realize that many people would keep this info to themselves, but I’ve never been burned by it, and in fact it gets me a lot of emotional support that I wouldn’t otherwise receive. And then people end up reciprocating and confiding in me when they have health issues of their own, which I appreciate greatly.

I think subverting taboos and being more open will help people more than it will hurt.

elbanditoroso's avatar

Not much at all.

I take care to obfuscate or mislead on things that could lead a person to identify who I am. Yes, I have identified myself as from Atlanta, but there are 3 million people here.

I am honest in my thoughts and opinions, and also experiences, but when it comes to saying – I am Mr. XXX XXXXXX who went to GGGGG college and works in JJJJJJ industry, no way.

Pachy's avatar

When using FB, which other than Fluther is the only social media I use—and FB I use rarely— I am very careful not to reveal personal info. I’m a bit bolder on Fluther.

But of course, just being on the Internet, whatever the site, is a risk to one’s privacy.

canidmajor's avatar

I don’t discuss stuff, beyond some general or superficial stuff much, as I think that, without appropriate context, so much is misconstrued. I’m not so worried about being identified, but I really don’t want to cause people a lot of concern, when they can’t see the whole picture.

filmfann's avatar

I share more here than I do on Facebook, or with my coworkers.

Coloma's avatar

I don’t discuss anything deeply personal or serious anywhere. I reserve that for my real life friends and daughter. Even then, I am one to just handle my own issues and not seek much outside advice or empathy. I only use FB to follow my daughters travels and have zero friends and just recently re-opened a new acct. to follow her travels after deleting my old FB acct. way back in 2011.

I have asked one personal question here, pertaining to stress I was experiencing a few years ago after being wiped out financially in the recession but it was just along the lines of asking for some cheering up and stories of starting over.
I love the fluther community and experience here but feel serious personal matters should be expressed with caution and discretion and that goes for FB and as well. So many people just splatter their serious issues around on the internet with little or no regard to maintaining some measure of discretion.

LuckyGuy's avatar

I came here to ask a medical question I did not want to discuss with my friends or family. I figured I’d put it out there, see what answers I got and cancel the account. Well, I got such great advice, some through PMs, I ended up staying.
In the real world I still have not gone public about that situation even though it was 8 years ago.
I keep private info private.

Strauss's avatar

I like the fact that Fluther is mostly separate from my real world. I know of a close relative that is a jelly, and I’m not sure how active that person is I don’t know that person’s username here, so I don’t necessarily go into a lot of personal stuff. I also like the fact that unless I reach out to you (via PM), you really don’t know who I am.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

There are times I share personal information, and there are times I don’t.

I have an odd situation. I work in mental health as a peer advocate. In other words, I am a person who receives mental health care, and it’s actually my job to share my personal story of recovery. I am very open about my recovery. Knowing that, there are still some things that I do not share on social media at all. I reserve those for professional settings. I am also very aware of when my recovery story is appropriate and when it’s not, but I have been trained to know that difference.

So, there is a weird kind of openness mixed with personal reserve about my story of recovery from mental illness.

I use the same kind of mixture of openness and reserve about my sexuality. I am very open about my homosexuality in most situations. There are some situations in which I choose to remain un-open when I feel it’s best for my safety. There are still people who would like to see me suffer and die because I’m gay. Having said that, I can assure anyone reading this who might be struggling with coming out that being out is exponentially better than being in the closet.

Having this odd mixture of openness and reserve in these two vital areas of my life gives me a good understanding of how much information I ask others to reveal about themselves. Sometimes, I ask very personal questions, and other times I know others may wish to be reticent.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Very comfortable, except I skip over the drama and the bad. Also, medical issues, unless I can use it to make people laugh.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

I’m very cautious about what I post. I post fairly generic info about my work, but nothing that will telegraph who I am in real life. I do the same in Facebook. I actually want anonymity so my students can’t find me here. I’ve had them ask to be friends on my named FB page. I want to be able to post things without thinking about whether a student will read it.

Family, again, while I trust the community here and I’m fairly candid about my past and present, I’m cautious about not posting things that will identify me. I also never post anything but the most generic information about my family. I’m the member here (and on FB) and I don’t share info about their lives or issues.

There have been times I’ve wanted to ask questions about a personal issue, but I’ve held back. I think if I was going to do that, I’d make a fake account and be very careful not to include information that would identify me and I wouldn’t discuss it in both places. I know I’m pretty good at picking people who make fake accounts and it’s much easier if the person has discussed things on Facebook and then asks a question here under a different name.

Dutchess_III's avatar

One of my pet peeves is when people post for the world to see “OMG! I can’t believe this is happening! Prayers for me!”
But when you message them to find out what’s up they’re like, “It’s none of your business.” WTF?
I think some people just like the drama.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

I share it here quite freely but we are for the most part anonymous. On facebook I keep it squeaky clean since even my boss three layers up friended me.

johnpowell's avatar

This dude is a open book.

But I don’t use Facebook or Twitter.

However.. I try to avoid posting info of people I know.

lugerruger's avatar

I share basically every detail of my life on the internet except for things that are dangerous to share. A lot of my fan account followers probably know more about me than my friends.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I am curious…why do you do that @lugerruger?

lugerruger's avatar

@Dutchess_III It’s kind of nice to be able to share my life and know it’s kind of getting somewhere, you know? I find it good to be able to express my feelings and opinions and to know that other people might read it. Like, I keep a diary and I write down all my problems in that but that won’t be able to offer me advice or listen at all.
I feel like that was a really bad explanation, but hopefully you can understand that.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

@lugerruger, we all communicate in different ways and I think that’s a good thing. The only thing I would say is that it’s important to think about who might read what we share and to consider whether something we say could come back to haunt us later. For instance, these days employers may search your social media before or when they employ you. So just be circumspect about what you share and how others might use that information.

jca's avatar

I try to be careful about what I write because I am always aware that it’s possible a coworker or family member would figure out who I am on Fluther. I would hate for that to happen but I feel like anything is possible. I try to use fairly vague terms to describe where I work, where I live, etc. On FB, I try not to talk about family members, work issues, etc.

Soubresaut's avatar

I don’t use much social media. What I do have, I only use to keep in contact with people I know well.

As for Fluther… I try not to share anything that could let someone figure out my identity, at least not someone who doesn’t know me… I’ve broken that rule a few times. I did participate in the “steal your face” once, for example, though I deleted the picture shortly afterwards. Admittedly, I am a vaguely worried about people I know finding this site, although I know it’s doubtful they would… There are some details on here that, if you know me, and if you saw them, I think you’d recognize me.

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