@KNOWITALL In my case, because of health problems, I have been unable to have sex for months at a time sometimes and it sucks! Does it affect the marriage? Hell yes. Am I frustrated sometimes? Definitely.
Over time we were out of the habit of having sex, and so even when I could sometimes we weren’t. It felt like he didn’t care about it, or didn’t want me, and that was pretty awful too. But, the truth is he was coping with trying to not make sex so important also. Trying to adjust expectations. My husband is better at acceptance in general. I tend to stay in a state of mourning.
It’s incredibly disappointing. I constantly feel like my life is not what it was supposed to be. Some people lose their desire to have sex. They either lose the physical desire, or they aren’t attracted to their spouse in the same way anymore, or they’re exhausted, there are many reasons. I’ve always wanted to be able to have sex every day like when I was 16, but God or the Universe didn’t let it happen. Not since my mid 20’s when I started having problems.
I’m extremely disappointed about my health problems affecting my sex life. I’m also disappointed I never had children. I’m disappointed my husband is having a hard time finding a job right now. Life is full of disappointment, I know you know that already, we all have disappointments, some are really really big ones.
The thing is, through everything with my husband, I feel just like the song says, “you and me against the world…” It’s just what @ARE_you_kidding_me said my husband and I are a unit, family, we are practically the same being, but separate at the same time. This feeling has grown stronger and stronger over the years. I’d say that real feeling of forever bonded really kicked in around year 9 or 10 of the marriage.
He still grabs me, and we cuddle, and compliment each other, and so we still can feel attractive and a little randy, but if you ask is something missing when we aren’t having sex for extended periods? Yes, it’s missing, but there is so much more about us.
Divorcing my husband would be like losing a part of my body.
One of my girlfriend’s had her parents staying with her a few weeks at a time every year. Her parents were in their early 90’s. She said at night she could hear them in bed reviewing what had happened that day. They had this pillow talk time, and it was one of the sweetest things I had heard in a long time. More than anything that’s what I think of when I think of marriage. The experiences you have together. They were reviewing their experiences that day.