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MaisyS's avatar

Any Cambridge graduates here? Can you please help clear some concerns I have?

Asked by MaisyS (734points) December 15th, 2020

My religion requires me to not be alone in a room with a man (yes, I’m a girl, and I’m Muslim). I’m concerned about the supervisions. Would it possible for me to request that I have a female supervisor, one on one (provided there are potential female supervisors)? Is such a request likely to be rejected? It would be more comfortable for me to have an all female supervision group. Can I request this or is that not possible? I intend to apply to either Newnham or Murray Edwards since they’re both all women colleges, so I’m easy with that. I just wanted some clarification regarding the supervisions.

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10 Answers

Jeruba's avatar

Wouldn’t your question be best directed to the university?

It would be surprising to me if the average graduate of any school could tell us the policy in effect today with respect to future students’ needs for special accommodations on religious grounds. That information is outside common awareness and may in any case be different tomorrow from what it was yesterday.

SavoirFaire's avatar

There is nothing wrong with making the request, and the university should try to accommodate you to the extent that it can. This isn’t to say that you will get exactly what you want every time. In some cases, a perfect accommodation may not be possible. But you should have a better chance with Newnham and Murray Edwards.

One thing to think about is what you can do when you don’t get a perfect accommodation. You say that having an all-female supervision group is more about comfort than religious strictures, so perhaps you would be willing to compromise so long as you don’t ever have to be alone in a room with a man.

If so, you can make it clear to the university that you are a reasonable person by saying that while you would most prefer an all-female supervision group, you understand that you might have some groups that are just mostly female and maybe even the occasional group that is mostly (but not entirely) male. This sort of compromise would make it a lot easier for them to try and make sure that your one-on-one supervisions are always with female supervisors.

And if that proves difficult or impossible in some cases and you absolutely have to have a male supervisor in a one-on-one supervision session, you might look into whether or not you can have a female in the room during those sessions. This could be either a female supervisor who is free at that time but not an expert in the relevant subject, or someone else who could just be present and watchful in a way that allows you to adhere to your religious beliefs).

@Jeruba A lot of students, especially incoming students who are adapting to a lot of new things at once, are hesitant to bring up their concerns directly to university administrators. It can be hard to know in advance how receptive the school will be to one’s requests, and it is a common fear that merely asking could negatively impact one’s experience and/or future.

MaisyS's avatar

@Jeruba you’re right. I will do that but I just wanted to see if anyone had any insight beforehand :) thanks so much for your response!

MaisyS's avatar

@SavoirFaire thank you so much! I really appreciate your response :) I worded that wrongly, I’m sorry, its not about comfort :) I’m not nervous around men so to speak, I should’ve said that it’s a religion related thing. But I absolutely get what you mean about compromising! And yes, I’m willing to work to find a solution that would fit both me and the university. Perhaps a more public setting than a secluded room could work as a compromise? Again, thank you so much!

janbb's avatar

@MaisyS I’m not a Cambridge graduate but I do have some familiarity with English culture and I would be certain that you are not the first Muslim woman to aspire to attendance at one of Cambridge’s colleges. It would be perfectly acceptable for you to enquire what provisions are made to accommodate the supervision needs of Muslim women. I’m sure you would ask very politely and then have an idea from their response whether Cambridge would be a comfortable fit for you.

Zaku's avatar

I attended Cambridge for a bit, and although I had no experience with your specific issues, and don’t know specific policies, I would say:

1) What exactly happens and how, would depend on the specific college you apply to. And they tend to be friendly and to like giving information, and your question makes sense, so I would ask the colleges you are thinking of applying to.

2) In general, I found everyone I interacted with at Cambridge University to be quite helpful, reasonable and accommodating, and compared to American universities and colleges I have interacted with, rather less rule-bound. So I think they would tend to be able to handle your request.

3) Especially at an all-woman or majority-women college, I think it would be particularly easy to be supervised by women.

SavoirFaire's avatar

@MaisyS Thank you for the clarification. The meeting place is definitely something that is reasonable to ask about. I also agree with @janbb that you should see what accommodations they are already prepared to offer. You might find that you don’t have to ask for anything extra. But you are fully within your rights to inquire if you are uncomfortable with the default accommodations.

I teach in the American system rather than the British one, and I’ve only had a few students who were Muslim women. But things I have done to accommodate them include meeting in a public setting, allowing them to bring a female friend to the meeting, and having a female professor or staff member be in the room during what would normally be a private meeting. I have also had a student request that there always be a table or desk between us, which does not seem unreasonable.

Given that you are willing to compromise (though you should not have to compromise on the “never being alone with a man” part), I think you are very likely to find an arrangement that you will find acceptable.

doyendroll's avatar

At Newnham… all fellows are women, but male ones are allowed at Murray Edwards.

MaisyS's avatar

Thank you to everyone that has answered! I am greatly encouraged by the response I have received. I was honestly afraid as to how people would react to such a question, given the fact that i have had people talk in disparaging ways about the requirements of my religion. Seeing these answers has honestly been a great morale booster, so thank you!

janbb's avatar

Good luck and stick around here if you have the time! We welcome voices from other countries and cultures.

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