Social Question

milfluver42069's avatar

Crush sent me a song but the lyrics are kind of...mean?

Asked by milfluver42069 (5points) October 6th, 2021

My crush has expressed that he has feelings for me before, but I guess I’m just growing insecure now that I’m starting to feel the same way.

He sent me “Whatever (Folk Song in C)” by Elliott Smith out of the blue. The song is pretty much just about drugs, and the line “what are you doing hanging out with me?” comes up a lot. This is freaking me out. Is he trying to tell me he doesn’t want to hang out anymore? I can’t tell how I should respond.

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6 Answers

Mimishu1995's avatar

Why don’t you ask him?

My friends send me songs all the time. She just wants to share a good song with me.

Zaku's avatar

Probably not a clue that he doesn’t want to hang out!

If you had someone you wanted to stop hanging out with, would you send them a song where one of the lyrics was something you wanted them to figure out was a message directed at them, as a hyper-subtle clue?

I really hope you would not, because that would seem to me like an awful way to treat someone, expecting you to get clues like that – wow. That would be a nightmare. If I knew someone who expected me to get clues like that, I would think they were the most annoyingly passive-aggressive jerkwad I’d even had the displeasure of knowing.

Even if it were that they were trying to say that lyric to you, I would think it would mean they are saying that they themselves are bad to be with and you deserve better. But it’d still be a crappy way to communicate, and would strike me as probably a passive-aggressive invitation to a dysfunctional co-dependent relationship of some sort.

So to re-cap, no, probably not, and if so, then it’s great news if they don’t want to hang out with you, because that would be a psycho way to communicate!

flutherother's avatar

It sounds to me that the song is about a relationship affected by drug use. I wouldn’t focus only on the line “what are you doing hanging out with me” as the overall message of the song, or poem, is more positive and more complex. The relationship isn’t over and the line “Whatever you’re doing now would probably suit me fine” shows that feelings remain.

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Jeruba's avatar

I think he’s telling you something, all right, but not what you think.

I don’t know the song, but I would be wondering if he’s using it to tell you he’s into drugs, maybe because he wants to warn you but he’s having a hard time bringing it up. It would make sense, then, if he also wanted you to read the “whatever you do” line as an expression of his own insecurity—like saying “I’m not good enough for you.”

Drugs can really drag a relationship down, so if that’s not for you, he might be giving you fair warning before you get in too deep.

My advice would be to ask him what he thinks the song is saying—not asking directly what he’s trying to say to you. Then let the conversation follow (gently) from there.

Forever_Free's avatar

Don’t over analyze a song exchange in your interpretation of just the lyrics.

He may just like the melody and little riffs in it. He may have been listening to it and wanted to let you know he was just thinking of you.

Ask him in a non confrontational way “what was it that made you send me the song”

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