Social Question

ButterflyBoi's avatar

Does my friend like me?

Asked by ButterflyBoi (81points) November 1st, 2021

So, I’ve had this guy friend for a few months now, and I’m not personally interested in him romantically. He did tell me he was bisexual, and he likes to tease me a lot. He’s told me about his past relationship and how it was bad, and he tells me about his friends and everything. He wanted to go to one of my concerts which was about 30–45 minutes away from where he lives. My parents told me that he probably likes me, but they also don’t know he’s bisexual

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15 Answers

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I know it seems scary, but you could ask him. What’s the worst that could happen?

Dutchess_III's avatar

You say you aren’t interested in him romantically. But you seem to be confusing sex with friendship. What IS your interest in him? If it’s just friendship what would him being bisexual have to do with anything?

kneesox's avatar

It seems he does like you. Do you mean you want to know if he likes you romantically?

Dutchess_III's avatar

But she’s not interested in him romantically.

KNOWITALL's avatar

It sounds to me like he is trying to be friends at least, or maybe he just likes your music. Musicians often attract others effortlessly, due to their talent.

Inspired_2write's avatar

“He wanted to go to one of my concerts which was about 30–45 minutes away from where he lives. ”
Maybe thats all he wanted?

kneesox's avatar

@Dutchess_III, I’m not sure @ButterflyBoi is a she. If not, that might explain the mention of bisexuality, the denial of romantic interest, and the “but” in the line about the parents.

If @ButterflyBoi is not interested romantically, and the friend is, it could be really awkward for @ButterflyBoi to ask him because that usually means the asker is hoping for a yes. Instead of a question, it might be kindest if @ButterflyBoi found a time to say gently that s/he really likes the friend a lot, but only as a friend.

ButterflyBoi's avatar

@Dutchess_III @kneesox I was wondering if he was interested romantically

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@kneesox Don’t forget to read the tags.

kneesox's avatar

@Hawaii_Jake Right. But they don’t point to whose feelings they’re about. I was thinking, if @ButterflyBoi asks his friend, and the friend says yes, but @ButterflyBoi isn’t interested in the same way, won’t the friend feel exposed and embarrassed?

Wouldn’t that be the case in any relationship where one feels romantic and the other feels platonic? It’s not usually the platonic one who does the asking, is it?

chyna's avatar

Asker is female. She said so on another thread.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@kneesox I’m not sure @butterflyboi wants just a platonic relationship. She says “crush” in her tags. I interpreted that meaning she’s crushing on this boy. Now that I think about it, however, I can see how it could be read other ways.

I also see your point. Thanks for clearing that up.

I remember being young and wondering about other boys and whether they might be gay. It was so complex to my young mind. I’m so much older now, and quickly talk to people in diplomatically blunt ways to determine interest. Keeps my mind clear. I hope the OP finds the courage and the right words to talk to her friend.

kneesox's avatar

@chyna, well, that does put it in a different light.

Anyway, @Hawaii_Jake, I’m perfectly confused now, from OP’s statement “I’m not personally interested in him romantically” to her crushing on him—so I’ll just be a spectator now.

Dutchess_III's avatar

It’s such a confusing time. By “romantic” do you mean does he want to have sex with you? (Probably.)
Or does he want to have an entire relationship with you? (Unknown.)
In my first High School romance we just kind of wandered into it. We just kind of knew we were both off the “market.” Sex wasn’t even in the picture for the first 6 months.

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