If you found out you were adopted, what would you do?
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Dig_Dug (
4259)
April 2nd, 2023
That would be weird. I don’t know what I’d do for sure, I’d definitely have to look into it and try to find my real family.
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29 Answers
Thought about this many times, and come to the conclusion I don’t care.
I wonder, too, what one may think to find out the baby they brought home from the hospital wasn’t theirs, biologically; accidentally got switched with another. If the kid is already yours, even just a couple years old, would you want to keep the child you’ve been raising or switch back for the biologically related one? I’d imagine keep the one you’ve been raising as that’s the one you’ve been raising and loving all this time, DNA being meaningless.
I remember telling my mom when I was a teenager that I knew I was adopted and that I felt that I was probably a Rockerfeller. She told me that rich people didn’t give up their children to poor people, it was the other way around.
But I always wondered if I was adopted since my parents had blue and green eyes and curly hair. I have stick straight hair and brown eyes. I don’t think I would look for my real parents at this point in my life. I’m not sure I ever would have looked for them at any point in my life because I have a half brother and sister that I haven’t seen since I was 6 years old and have never looked for them.
I would search for my blood parents and update my ancestors, and include them in my family tree.
I’d say a prayer of thanks as I had GREAT parents who took really good care of me!!!
If I were adopted I’d want to find out who my mother was and tell her it’s ok. Unfortunately, I’m so old there is a good chance she might be dead. I guess it’s likely she was very young when she had me, so maybe the odds aren’t as bad as I might think.
My sister teases me that I’m not my father’s daughter. I was born from artificial insemination, and she teases I’m the doctor’s baby, because she looks so much like my dad and I don’t as much. My toes are just like his, but she says probably a lot of Eastern European Jews have toes like that. Lol. She’s impossible. Anyway, if I found out he wasn’t my bio dad I don’t think I would care. I don’t do the genetic testing partly because on the off chance my sister is right (so incredibly unlikely) I don’t want to have the burden of keeping it from my parents.
I would like to know if any blood relative’s are traveling through time too.
I was, and I have no interest in finding out who my “real” father is.
I have a friend who knew from a very early age he was adopted. When he was grown he broke the seal and found his biological mother, and now he’s good friends with that family.
A family that lived nearby as I was growing up adopted two children from two different sets of parents. One child was very tall and the other very short and it was well known they were adopted.
I think I would have to process the feelings and work through them – shock, etc. I think it’s one of those things that’s hard to say until/unless you’re actually in the situation.
Wouldn’t matter to me. There is no guarantee that any information I was told about my origin is correct.
How can I trust people who were all part of a mass conspiracy. The Santa one.
Reality is a lie.
I have a 68 year old friend who found out he was adopted after he ran a DNA test. (I don’t recall which one but I can ask him.) It showed he had relatives in Kentucky/ Virginia. He contacted a couple of them and they were all able to piece together his story. His father was a baseball player that traveled quite a bit. He impregnated a fan who gave the baby up for adoption.
He was boasting about it very enthusiastically. “Here I am, at age 67, and I just found out I have new relatives!”
I would faint from surprise, the family genetic stamp is creepily strong.
At this point nothing. Go on living my life as is.
To answer the Q as I think it was intended, though, I would not have looked for birth parents, as I figure there was probably an excellent reason I was given up. As a young woman, I knew a number of young women who had had to give babies up, most for seriously traumatizing reasons. Often the children were the products of rape, or punishing shame to the families (this was the 60s) and would only have been reminders of an awful time. One friend was actively pursued and found by a child she had given up, a child who resembled closely his biological father, who had stalked, raped, beaten, and left for dead my friend when she was 14.
That stuck with me, and I would rather the birth parent look for me, so I would not cause them such relived trauma.
^^ There are many levels to this when you think about it. Good and bad, you don’t really know what you may find out. You may not like what’s waiting for you at the end of your journey or it may be a blessing.
I’ve seen shows where adopted children are reunited with their parent or parents, and some of them had the theme of what I mentioned, the child wanted to tell the mother it was ok. I have always felt this way, because when I would think of being forced to give up my child (many girls had no choice 50 plus years ago) I think if I was one of those young women I would worry about my child every day. It just sounds so heart wrenching and unsettling. I’ve always said the Nazis would have to be coming after to me to hand over my baby. I couldn’t fathom it.
The mom’s on the shows always seemed relieved when their child released them from the idea that their child might hate them for giving them up. I hear some adopted children say they wonder why their parents didn’t want them, like the parent didn’t love them. I’ve never understood that assumption. I always think the parents, especially the mother, probably in most cases loved the baby very much and hoped the baby was treated well and grew up well and has some emptiness not knowing what happened. It sounds like psychological prison to me to not know how your baby is doing.
@canidmajor I’m sorry your friend had to relive that trauma. So hard for everyone in that situation.
I think I would feel lots of mixed emotions.
Mostly I think I would be upset that my parents hid it from me for so long.
I’d be curious. But not a huge driving urge to find them.
We did try to find my niece’s bio dad in Germany. She’s now in her 20’s. So most of the contacts and addresses we had were dead ends. No forwarding addresses at the post office.
I’ve heard of some Fb groups that are really good at finding people. Though not sure how keen she’d be about posting such personal things online.
It would certainly explain a lot. I think I would try to find someone since my family was pretty shitty.
DNA tests are making this a reality every day. If I was I’d probably try to connect with any living relatives.
My feet are my Dad’s and my eyes are my Mom’s so very unlikely.
@raum I think there are websites to try to match people, not just Facebook groups. Still would be online though. Does her bio dad know he is a dad?
I, too, look so much like my mother but I answered the question hypothetically, which is the way I took it.
@JLeslie Yup. Though it’s kind of complicated. :/
I’d stick by the family I was raised by, but at some point I’d like look for my birth mom, out of sheer curiosity if for no other reason.
If my current adoptive parents love me very much, I will not look for my biological parents. Even if I find them, it will be difficult for me to leave my adoptive parents.
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