Do you think it's possible people are overstimulated by easy access internet porn when alone to the point they aren't as interested in having sex when it's available with a partner?
Sometimes I think porn is addicting and keeps people in an ever escalating tither and other times I think it’s sapping the energy and attention away from couples time, especially for men who typically need a certain amount of time passed in order to “go another round”. Is porn getting the best?
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Porn is addicting.
And, yes, it probably is causing these problems.
No & I don’t choose to divulge much more on the subject.
I watch porn a lot and have sex with my partner a lot – one doesn’t prevent or encourage the other, they’re just different things, to me
The over abundance of porn has definitely decreased the frequency and quality of sex in some people. How could it not?
I don’t really see a correlation. Because, couldn’t the same be said about masturbating? I don’t look at porn, but I do masturbate…I guess you could say it takes away from when I could be having sex but not really since I only do it when my partner is not around. Otherwise, I go to him for satisfaction.
Porn has never been sexually gratifying to me. It’s more amusing than anything, and my husband feels the same way…
Who’s lucky enough to have sex with a partner?
Most internet porn is a wretched bore. I don’t understand why anyone would even give it more than one cursory glance.
Well look on the bright side…..a porn addiction is probably better than a heroin or crack addiction.~
I think that porn is the result of understimulation, sexually speaking. I don’t think it takes away from willingness, so much as it is a consequence of unwillingness.
Some people are hornier than others. I am fortunate in that I hardly ever look at porn any more, now that my wife and I are much more connected on that level. It’s not like I’ve stopped masturbating altogether, but definitely less often.
But that’s just my theory about porn.
@cheebdragon is talking about addictions. The way I see addictions is that they are ways of trying to cover over pain. Porn is about covering the pain of not connecting with your partner. It’s not like forbidding a spouse to watch porn is going to bring the couple closer together. If they become closer together, however, the porn will go away all by itself.
@daloon: I think you’ve got something there about the porn addiction covering over pain of not connecting with the available partner, hadn’t considered that there might be self protection and fear involved to where porn might serve as handy block wall or disconnect even if emotions put the person on edge.
@ratboy I am and it’s not luck, it’s an expectation, for me, at the very least
solo sex for me fills the void when my wife isn’t in the mood, or is sleeping, or whatever, since we operate on different schedules. As we get older (and for some damn reason, busier) there is less time for sex, but we still make time, and I am experienced enough to be able to please her, no matter when she wants it. She knows that all she has to do is ask and I’ll be there, and there are times she knows how to ask without saying a word. =) Even after all these years, I still find her damned sexy, and she knows it. She is the only woman that fulfills my desires, and I wouldn’t trade her for anyone. well, unless Milla Jovovich showed up on my doorstep, but that’s pretty unlikely.
I don’t think porn will create a problem in a relationship if you are smart enough to not let it create a problem. Different strokes for different folks, no pun intended.
@casheroo: there’s masturbating which I assume all people do and then there’s the hyper stimulation of porn with so much masturbation that couples sex seems like a letdown.
I masturbate much less when I have a partner. The real thing is always better.
The problem, of course, is getting a partner…
Depending on the person, yes. I’m speaking from experience here, but what I’m talking about is actually a pretty painful memory, so I’m unsure whether or not I want to divulge. I don’t so much think porn itself is the problem, but if people with certain issues watch it, it can definitely become a problem for them.
Well who do you think works at apple?
@XOIIO What does this topic have to do with apple?
Porn has become so predictable and stale (awful music, an endless onslaught of anal and facials), that it is much more a somewhat amusing form of entertainment than a stimulant. It may put the thought of having sex in one’s mind, but I certainly would not try to set a mood with most of the crap that’s out there. Besides, sex with a partner, and when alone, your own imagination (fantasies, etc.), is much more stimulating than watching most of what is available.
See ya…..Gary/wtf
No, watching porn and having sex is two different things.
If there are other things wrong in a relationship, it can make erect even more barriers to working on solutions.
Actually, I’m having the opposite issue at the moment. My boyfriend and I are both open porn fans, and we really enjoy masturbation. That is, until we spent two weeks together in August. The sex was so great and so frequent that now we’ve lost nearly all desire for either porn or masturbation. Problem with that is that we’re so far apart, so there can’t be sex, but the memory of the sex is so great that neither porn or masturbation cut it.
Keeping more to the question, though, I definitely agree with daloon about it being a disconnect with the partner. I’ve been in that situation… and I would say it wasn’t fun, except I was the one keeping myself happy with porn and blowing off sex, so it was fine for me.
I think that’s when you start getting into it being a problem. There’s a Japanese saying I heard in this Tom Selleck movie where he plays baseball for the Japanese. When he sits in the hot tub before taking a shower, someone tells him, “that’s like jacking off before sex”. I look at porn, but only because I’m horribly disfigured and a social invalid, that and I was brain washed as a child into thinking everyone has a penis, and just can’t believe my eyes.
It is also possible to be interested in porn and sex and one may be desirous of either three or four times a day, or even more. I think that a couple of things can make this more likely to happen. One would be anxiety. Many people use masturbation as a way to reduce their anxiety, and people who are in high stress situations, such as when work is crazy or you are really sick (like with cancer) or you have some mental illnesses such as bipolar disorder, or when you just feel horrible about yourself for whatever reason, you might use masturbation as a way to alleviate some of your anxiety. Porn, of course, is a way to help with masturbation.
Sometimes people in the therapy business call this “hypersexuality.” My psychiatrist says he doesn’t know what “hypersexuality” is. Perhaps there is no definition in the DSM IV. In any case, when people are feeling a need for many orgasms, they can easily turn to porn, but not necessarily reduce sex with a person, as well.
@XOIIO: I know several people who work at Apple. Care to elaborate?
you would need to have watched filbert cartoons, I rented the series a while ago. It won’t make sense without watching them.
@XOIIO: will do to check it out through netflix later, thanks.
@cheebdragon: I agree, porn addiction is better than heroin or crack addiction both of which mess up how your brain gets turned on and a lot of times messes a person up to ever really enjoy the highs of sex with a partner without the use of extreme stimuli/adrenaline/toys/etc. :(
no, when my sexual appetites were up, they were up all the time regardless of how much porn I watched
I think porn is more exciting than sex with a human because too many humans are uptight. Plus don’t like to do all the things I want to do. Which at times are bizarre to most people.
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